Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
