She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
