my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
