I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
