I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
