i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
