we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
