my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
