i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
