just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
