I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
