you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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