the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
