I am puke
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
