dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize