Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
