16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
