At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
