How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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