dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Pants are for mortals
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
