You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
