I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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