Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You pole danced in your parka.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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