my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He shit in the fireplace
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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