Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
