i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
