Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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