summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
