Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
