your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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