I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
