I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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