I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
