end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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