Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
