too bad you live with your parents still
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
please come you make the beer taste better
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
