I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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