we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
