it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Four minutes until I can fart!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I need moral support for this bender
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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