Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
