yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
