Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
