Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
