I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
