your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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