question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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