shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's blow job season.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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