thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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