I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
