does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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