it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize