her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
