Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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