You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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