I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
