Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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