If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
